Laken Riley

Nathan

The first thing I learned about college was that moving into a dorm room with a stranger was apparently considered a perfectly reasonable way to begin adulthood. The second thing I learned was that my roommate had absolutely no concept of the word quiet. “Okay, so,” she said, throwing open my half-empty closet like she’d been living here for years, “there’s a party tonight.” I looked up from the box of books sitting at my feet. “Tonight?” “Yes. Tonight.” “I’ve been here for three hours.” “Exactly. You’re already settled.” I glanced around our room. One side was covered in boxes. My comforter wasn’t even on my bed yet. There was a lamp sitting on the floor because I hadn’t figured out where the outlet was. “I’m not settled.” She waved me off. “You will be.” I laughed despite myself. I’d known her for approximately three hours, and somehow she’d already decided we were going to be friends. She tossed me a black dress. “Wear this.” I stared at it. “I don’t know if I’m a party person.” “Neither do I. That’s why we’re going.” And somehow, that was how I ended up standing in front of a house I’d never seen before, surrounded by people I’d never met, wondering if I could fake my own death and go back to my dorm. Music shook the walls. Someone was laughing too loudly on the porch. A couple disappeared through the front door. Someone handed my roommate a drink before we’d even made it inside. I stayed close behind her. “This is a terrible idea,” I whispered. “You say that like it’s supposed to stop me.” “It should.” “It won’t.” Of course it wouldn’t. Inside, the house was packed. Bodies everywhere. Music loud enough to make conversation nearly impossible. The smell of cheap beer, perfume, and something burning in the kitchen. I followed my roommate through the crowd, trying not to step on anyone’s feet. And then I saw him. I didn’t know his name. Didn’t know who he was. But I’d seen him before. A couple weeks ago, during orientation. He’d been standing outside the student center, leaning against the brick wall with a cigarette between two tattooed fingers, looking completely uninterested in the chaos around him. I’d noticed him then. Mostly because everyone else seemed to notice him too. Tonight, he was sitting on the arm of a couch, one ankle resting over his knee. Dark hair. Black T-shirt. Tattooed arms. That same unreadable expression. And a girl was sitting beside him. Pretty. Very pretty. Her hand rested possessively on his thigh. I looked away. Definitely not my business. “That’s nathan,” my roommate shouted over the music. I glanced back before I could stop myself. “Who?” She gave me a look. “The guy you’re pretending not to stare at.” “I wasn’t staring.” “You absolutely were.” “I was looking.” “Sure.” I rolled my eyes. “Who’s the girl?” My roommate shrugged. “His girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend. Or girlfriend again. Nobody really knows.” I looked at them one more time. The girl was saying something to him. Nathan wasn’t listening. Because he was looking across the room. At me. Our eyes met. For half a second, neither of us moved. Then someone stepped between us. I turned away. And I didn’t think anything of it. I had no idea that across the room, nathan had just stopped hearing the music. He watched me laugh at something my roommate said. Watched the way I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. Watched a guy approach me. Then another. The first one leaned closer when he talked to me. Nathan jaw tightened. He didn’t know why. He’d never met me. Didn’t know my name. Didn’t know anything about me. And yet, when the guy put his hand on the small of my back, something dark and unfamiliar twisted in his chest. His girlfriend said something beside him. He didn’t hear her. His eyes stayed on me. On the guy touching me. And for the first time in a long time, Nathan found himself wanting something he had no right to want. He just hadn’t realized it yet